Hi. Here's a summary of Chapter 12 which offers you the life-changing knowledge that nobody can make you feel anything - no matter what they do or say. It's how you view what they say or do that makes you feel - and then behave accordingly. So to stop giving into anxiety or fear, you merely have to change your view of your situation and what's on the other side of the Rubicon. It's all down to you!
The second hurdle is to ‘Accept anxiety as a positive, fundamental human experience (stop giving into it)’. The chapter shows how to check anxiety and use it constructively, not as a symptom of looming catastrophe but as ‘life energy’. To learn to ‘be anxious in the right way’, you must first accept that your feelings are caused by things that go on inside your head rather than outside it. As Epictetus said in 100AD:
‘Men are not disturbed by things but by the views they take of them’.
If you are to improve your situation, you need to decide either to change it or the way you view it; there is no point remaining in the same situation and continuing to view it with stress, horror or unhappiness – that’s just a waste of energy, a waste of life.
The chapter ends with a practical Face Your Challenges 4-Step Technique that helps you to meet difficult conversations and situations with courage and compassion rather than with anxiety, blame, avoidance or anger.
“Beverly Stone shows through logical steps how to break patterns of destructive thinking and behavior and move into a healthy relationship with yourself and others. Highly recommended.” DEEPAK CHOPRA
“This is the ideal book for anyone looking for the courage to make a change. It’s full of practical, sensitive, helpful strategies, yet it’s also so amazingly readable.” DAWN FRENCH
“I’ve known people trapped in deeply unhappy relationships for years, because of no apparent way out. Indecision only adds to the misery. Beverley Stone’s serious guide to honest, clear ways to change, offers men and women the release to be themselves and is inspiring in its lessons.” ANNA FORD