Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Controversy over Daily Mail article - Divorce

Hi Everyone,

The article in the Daily Mail yesterday ( http://bit.ly/AgkIJc ) managed to spark a lot of comments about whether or not people 'should' leave a marriage for religious or other ethical and moral reason.

And I wanted to make it clear that the book is entitled Stay or Leave? and in it, I don't advocate either.

What I do advocate is that everyone does what is right for themselves - with compassion and integrity. You cannot live your life for everyone else, if it's making you stressed, ill and into half a person. Instead, I suggest that instead of living an unhappy lie, you take the risk of being authentic within the relationship and encourage your partner to do the same.

But if neither being what everyone else wants you to be, nor being yourself works, then surely it is clear to everyone that it is time for a change.

With regards to 'shoulds' 'oughts' and 'musts' around the religious and moral aspects of taking the decision to leave, as far as I understand it, in Christianity, "Marriages are very special before the Lord, but the people in marriage are even more special...We must not view the divorce of a bad marriage as an end of something good..It's the end of something that went bad and the BEGINNING of something new."

"In Judaism, marriage is viewed as a contractual bond commanded by God...The Talmud argues that a man should love his wife as much as he loves himself and honour her more than he honours himself. Similarly, a husband was expected to discuss with his wife any worldly matters that might arise in his life. Tough love was frowned upon; the Talmud forbids a husband from being overbearing to his household, and domestic abuse by him was also condemned. It was said of a wife that God counts her tears.." And "..greatest praise...was given to a wife who fulfils the wishes of her husband." If these contractual obligations are not fulfilled, then a divorce is given.(http://bit.ly/xs2Nsb)
Similarly, in Islam "Marriage, as prescribed by Allaah, is the lawful union of a man and woman based on mutual consent.. Islam discourages divorce by either party, but...does make provisions for divorce by either party." (http://bit.ly/ArSssm)

I'm no religious scholar - clearly, some will say! - and no doubt there are many interpretations of what I've written above. But from what I've read, it is clear to me that no one wants two people to spend a miserable life together for the sake of form.

"It is possible to stay married and be doing the "right thing" for too long". (http://bit.ly/ymeyua)


  1. How to restore a broken relationship and marriage......

    My name is Mark Davis, my family and i live together live in London UK.It was after seven years i got to discover that my wife was unfaithful to me.I didn't know what was going on at first but as she got deep in the affair with her new lover, i felt that our marriage was on the rocks.I notice that she no longer light up when i touch her or kiss her in her neck and her chest cos she really liked it when i did that, she also usually get naked in front of me but when she started seeing that guy she stopped it.I remember asking her if i have done anything that makes her feel irritated when i am around her then she gives silly excuses that she has been feeling stressed up and that she need space for a while.I know when you are been asked for space its usually because there is something fishy is going on.I hired a private investigator to help find out what was going on.And in a week time he brought me prove that my wife that i have lived with for seven straight year is cheating on me with her high school lover.I had picture of her walking out a of a restaurant with him and many other photo of them kissing in public like she will never be caught by someone that knows she is my wife.I asked myself, even when we had a daughter together she could this to me.That same night i showed her the pictures that i got from my private investigator.She didn't look at it before saying, that she is seeing someone and she know that i just found out about it.Then she said that she is in love with him.At that moment, i didn't know if to kill myself or to kill her but the button line is that if i was going to kill anyone it was going to be me cos i was so much in love with her to even think of thinking to hurt her.As time when on she asked for a divorce and got it and even got custody of our daughter and i was all alone by myself.For a year i tried all i could to get her back with the help of my seven year old daughter.Even at that all effect was in vain, i used the help of her friend but turned out all bad.I know most people don't believe in spell casting but believe me this was my last option and the result i most say was impressive.And i know it difficult to believe but A SPELL CASTER Dr brave really made my life much better cos he gave me my family back.He didn't ask me to pay for what he did for me all i was to do, was to provide the materials for the spell and believe that he had the power to help me.Like he said, he was going to do something that will make her reset her love and affection for me just as it has always been.My wife told me she woke up and realized that she should have never left me that i am all she needs.To make thing clear, her life with her high school lover was great before Dr brave castled the spell they had no disagreement on anything.The guy said it himself that why she broke up with him is unexplainable.Only Dr.Brave can do such a thing contact him to solve your problem with his email:bravespellcaster@gmail.com ,or kindly visit he website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com . CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS okay.

  2. FINANCIAL RESTORATION THROUGH THE HELP OF JASON RAYMOND OF FUNDING CIRCLE INC: (fundingcapitalplc@gmail.com OR Call/Text +14067326622)..

    I'm Nathan Davidson a businessman who was able to revive his dying business through the help of a Godsent lender known as Jason Raymond the CEO of FUNDING CIRCLE INC. Am resident at 1542 Main St, Buffalo, NY.. Well are you trying to start a business, settle your debt, expand your existing one, need money to purchase supplies. Have you been having problem trying to secure a Good Credit Facility, I want you to know that FUNDING CIRCLE INC. is the right place for you to resolve all your financial problem because am a living testimony and i can't just keep this to myself when others are looking for a way to be financially lifted.. I want you all to contact this Godsent lender using the details as stated in other to be a partaker of this great opportunity Email: fundingcapitalplc@gmail.com OR Call/Text +14067326622

  3. BEST AVAILABLE WAY TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM {upstoxfunding@yahoo.com}
    Are you looking for financial freedom? Are you in debt, you need a loan to start a new business? Or you collapse financially, do you need a loan to buy a car or a house? Have you ever been rejected by your bank in ever finance? You want to improve your financial? You need a loan to pay off your bills pay off? No more looking, we welcome you for an opportunity to get all types of loans at a very affordable 3% interest rate for others. For information, contact us now by email at: {upstoxfunding@yahoo.com}

    Do you have a bad credit? Do you need money to pay bills? Is it necessary to start a new business? Do you have an unfinished project due to poor funding? Do you need money to invest in any specialty that will benefit you? And you do not know what to do. We offer the following loans;both Personal loans [secure and unsecured], Business loans [secure and unsecured] ,combination loans ,Student loans,Consolidation loans and so many others.

    Company name: UPSTOX FUNDING
    Company Email: upstoxfunding@yahoo.com
    Text/Call :(302) 273-5794.

  4. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us! I also think that a "good" divorce is much better than a "bad" marriage. The problem is that there are still many families that make divorce a taboo and think staying in a dead marriage is better for their kids. But it isn't so! In case you are planning your divorce now, this web-site can help you a lot with planning your divorce budget. Listen to your heart an make the right choice!